Broccoli by Mail

A single floret. Because they're worth it.

Not just any floret—a slightly yellow-ish piece of fake broccoli, carefully mailed first-class with a custom label: “Because you deserve the best.” No box. No frills. Just pure, raw expression.

What’s Included

• 1 authentic-looking fake broccoli floret
• Certificate of Broccoli Delivery — an official-looking insert that proves someone actually paid money to send it
• A side of deep confusion and possible laughter
• Legendary story potential (“You’ll never believe what I got in the mail…”)

Best for

• Health nuts who think kale gets too much attention
• People who hate vegetables (they can’t escape this one)
• That coworker who eats your lunch
• Prank-loving friends and family
• Anyone who needs a weird pick-me-up
• Your ex who still borrows your Netflix password

Why People Love It

• Conversation starter: Broccoli is universal. Everyone has feelings about it.
• Unexpected joy: Shows up in the mail when least expected.
• Memorable gift: Flowers wilt. Chocolates get eaten. Broccoli lives on in stories forever.